With May being Mental Health Awareness month, I asked my husband who is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has worked in child/adolescent mental health for more than 25 years to provide some more information on recognizing teenage depression. He has presented at conferences and to lawmakers and has secured funding for expanding crisis options for children in our area needing immediate mental health services.
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Teenage depression can be hard for parents to diagnose, as all teenagers experiences ups and downs and are in the process of learning emotional regulation and gaining “life experience.” However, there is a difference between clinical depression and an emotional reaction to a life event. For example, a teenager whom breaks up with their first true boyfriend or girlfriend is likely to experience severe emotional reactions, including mood swings, self-doubt, feelings of hopelessness, a desire to isolate, listening to depressing music, and a lack of satisfaction from activities that they used to enjoy. All of these might be found under a list of “Symptoms of Depression.” However, the difference is found in the fact that these are normal reactions to the event of losing the first relationship that you believed was “true love.” Thus, it can be hard for a parent to distinguish when their teenager is experiencing normal rites of passage (however painful they might be) versus true clinical depression.
One of the things to look at is whether or not there is a specific event or trigger to which the teenager is reacting. Failing a math test could result in an emotional outburst and feelings of hopelessness in a teen, but this doesn’t mean they are clinically depressed. However, one might reasonably expect a teenager to bounce back from this setback within a day or two. Concerns regarding true depression should begin when a teenager does not appear to be “bouncing back” and/or there is no sentinel event to look to that might explain their reactions or feelings. We all remember teenage “angst”, but depression goes beyond this. When symptoms are persistent and unrelenting, it is time to be concerned. These symptoms could be a change in activities, lack of pleasure related to things that used to bring enjoyment, feelings of hopelessness that the future can be improved, isolation or withdrawal from friends and family, recklessness, anger outbursts, and appearing to “throw away” opportunities or accomplishments that they previously valued. A traumatic event can have far reaching impact, even months after it occurred, and lead to depression.
True clinical depression will often have an effect in more than one area, such as home, school, friendships, etc. You might see changes in eating and sleeping habits. Statements about not wanting to live or a focus on death should be immediately addressed in a non-judgmental way. Teenagers are famous for not sharing all of their thoughts and feelings with parents, but patience and promoting unconditional positive regard for your teen can go a long way to helping them recognize their own value. Parents have to enforce rules and expectations, but it is even more important to demonstrate love and belief in the teen’s ability to succeed. Remember, teenagers don’t have a lot of life perspective to draw from, and the ability to recognize the relatively small impact that a normal teenage event may have on their future is difficult for them to see. The thing that we want to prevent is a teen making a life ending choice related to a short term problem. Having a supportive parent whom is willing to listen without judgment and encourage a larger perspective can truly be lifesaving. However, recognizing when it is time to bring in a professional is equally important. Seeking help for clinical depression isn’t weakness, it is the same as going to the doctor for a broken arm. Not seeking treatment would be considered foolish when a bone is broken. Ignoring clinical depression and expecting someone to heal themselves could be even more damaging.
Jim Thornton, LPC
Jim is a Licensed Professional Counselor with 25+ years of working in Child/Adolescent Mental Health. He currently works as the Clinical Services Administrator for the Child & Youth Behavioral Health Division with the Virginia Beach Human Services Department.
